IT'S A .....
Do you remember that moment when you walked into the doctors office and he or she said...well good news...you're pregnant? It's as if the whole world stopped for a brief moment as you fully took in the news. Next step, tell your husband if he is not already there and then whats the perfect way to tell your friends and family. Thats what we all call the "perfect storm." The planning begins, suddenly all you can think about is the gender reveal and how you will decorate his or her nursery. Well for us, we were both blessed with girls and thats when the fun began. One was due in November and the other in May. Months turned into weeks and before we new it days.
I remember it as if it was yesterday, "D" day. You are calmly waiting at home and suddenly the contractions begin, you let your husband know and he follows your instructions to perfection, even thinking ahead and doing things for you you hadn't even thought yourself (ha ha ha). You are monitoring your contractions and notice they are getting closer apart so you gracefully go to the hospital, they admit you, you push once or twice and BAM ... a beautiful baby girl arrives and everything falls into place - well.....not exactly....
As many of you know....and if you don't... you will now. Every woman has a different birth experience, yet it's the aftermath that people really don't talk about. Yes, the part when you actually have to deliver the wonderful bundle of joy that hasn't let you sleep for the past 2 months or more! I remember one of us saying, "why can't you just push a button and poof the baby is born?" Well, as we know, thats not the case but looking back now, its not the birth and the time in the hospital that truly brings the world into perspective for a new mom, its the first days at home.
IS SHE REALLY MINE?!
That moment when you leave the hospital with your bundle of joy and all of the instructions, pampers, free goodies and gifts in toe that you realize, "wait I am now responsible for this little human...FOREVER!" Forget the fact that your body is recovering, you struggle with the idea "to breastfeed or not to breastfeed," your hubby and you are trying to fall into a new harmonious routine, trying to respond to everyone who is trying to reach out to you and congratulate you, setting up the pediatrician, making sure your dogs will receive your new bundle of joy (and the list goes on and on)..you feel in a complete daze.
Those first few days are just that. Scheduling, checking off your list and getting use to the lack of sleep, because there definitely is that. (PS: if they don't tell you this in child birth class, well rest up now, trust me!) But it only takes that one day when everything goes wrong to realize that motherhood is NOT perfect. Its messy, chaotic, happy and fulfilling all at the same time. Because although those first few days and the many after are tough, it only takes for her or him to smile at you or look deep in to your soul with those baby eyes, for you to realize why becoming a new mommy is truly life changing. Its the beautiful fact that you have just brought this perfect little girl/boy into the world and you never knew there was a love like this before.
So here's our advice for "New Mommies"...
After you settle in and things start getting a little easier, then the recovery begins. Let your loved ones help you. Our husbands played a huge role in this, helping and supporting us the entire way. Whether its helping with the baby, letting you rest in between feedings, doing items around the house or just even supporting your choice to breast feed or not, those small gestures really do make a difference.
Don't feel guilty asking for "me" time. You may ask yourself, shouldn't I be over the moon and back about my new little one? Yes of course, but I think everyone can agree that every human being needs a little fresh air. Some things that helped us during this time was in the afternoons when our husbands got home from work we would walk together around the neighborhood (with stroller), our moms would watch the baby while we went to go get a mani/pedi. Even alittle trip to grandma and grandpa's house, could help us feel a little more like our old-selves.
The thing they don't tell you after you give birth is that you are no longer your old self, being that you have a child now, you are a better you. But, it takes time to fully understand who that "new you"is. So remember, never feel guilty about having mixed emotions during your new journey. Whether its being worried, happy, in love, in awe, blessed, stressed, angry, frustrated ... take it all in..."the good, the bad and the ugly" and remember you are not alone, all of us moms have felt the same way...its called #momlife :)