It really has been awhile since I've been able to calmly sit down and write a blog post, the thing I love most about Bambina Diaries. Ever since I was little I would write my feelings and thoughts into my journal and it was always so therapeutic, even at such a young age. Either way, I am 17 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, Baby Alec Javier. For those that may not know, this will be our third child - AH! It wasn't planned and to be honest, I freaked out when I saw the pregnancy test. With the girls we went the route of "if it happens awesome, we're ready" - this was NOT the case. As always, God showed his sense of humor.
Once I wrapped my head around the fact that I was going to be a mama of three and Javi reassured me we would be find, but needed to revisit my budget of course (lol), I was extremely excited for this huge blessing. Of course, everyone started telling me "oh you're going to see, this will be the boy!" and to be honest, Javi and I didn't care about that. We wanted to make sure our baby was HEALTHY. Want to roll your eyes or say that everyone says that, we'll my story is a little different. I grew up with my oldest sister being severely handicapped so I KNOW what it's like. I saw my mom give endless hours of herself and worry tremendously. BUT, that's another topic for another day.
With tremendous nausea and just feeling like crap, I literally stayed in bed and didn't want to leave. I remember telling Javi I feel so useless, I can't help you with the girls or the house. He looked at me as if I was crazy and reminded me that I was growing our baby and I needed to relax. Isn't is crazy that as a mom, even with you feel like absolute dump you still think about the things you should/need to be doing. I genuinely envy the people that can completely be indifferent about their role as a parent and feel no guilt.
Fast forward to 17 weeks ... where I eat every hour whatever my body tells me I need to feel better, even if its candy - yep! I feel better but have my days where I feel drained, end up throwing up or just don't feel like myself. I'm usually a very active and motivated person but lately I just want to be sloth-like, watch tv or read a book and eat. HA! What am I thinking, I have two daughters, funny right? I guess that's what makes it so challenging and Javi has totally picked up the slack.
That was something I needed to learn to let go. Are you the type of person that normally likes to do things herself because you like things done a certain way? Yep, that's me! So when I would see Javi doing things I would cringe and tell him something, I needed to learn ASAP that I couldn't do that. I needed to JUST LET GO. Not an easy thing when you tend to be a control freak, so after a heart to heart with Javi, I'm slowly learning to accept help and as long as it gets done don't stress about it. Go figure!
Check out my recent Instagram post and let me know how you felt during your pregnancy with your second, third + child. https://www.instagram.com/bambinadiaries/